Beating Beets by Big Ben

‘You had to do the washing up?’ asked my friend incredulously after I recalled my concerns over the cleaning of copious matt black plates. No, I told him, things haven’t got that bad yet. But because über chic venues share a fetish for using up to four items of china to present a teensy weensy amuse bouche, I’ve begun to worry about a kitchen porter’s workload. One day I’ll do a Fairy liquid style count. However, rather than toil, the secret to a spotless sheen on wannabe smudge scuffed plates is a vinegar dab, said our waiter reassuringly.

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