What Credit Crunch?
EVERY FLOOR of John Torode’s Farringdon meat mall convulsed with commerce last Tuesday. Its predominantly male, pinstriped contents poured (and roared) onto the pavement. Seven sommeliers cut to the terrace at the top via a padded red lift. We were armed with a wheeled case containing splendid bottles, and an appetite to sample the charmless Australian’s fabled protein.
The main courses seemed to take hours. Clearly staff were strained. And when it eventually arrived, my friend's Salt Beef was boomeranged back. The accused was charged with excess saltiness. You might be thinking, “of course Salt Beef is salty, stop finding fault!” But you weren’t there. The coarse, salt-blast rawly evoked something preserved for Captain Cook. He didn’t want to discuss the replacement Braised Rare Breed Beef.
Those who stuck to steak did better. An outrageously overpriced South Devon Côte de Boeuf got 8/10 from our Burgundian representative but took some hacking.
A plate of cheese from Neal’s Yard was presented carelessly informally.
Poorly tended loo cabins led off a neon atrium.
If the venue was anything other then a come-down for the office crowd, I might care to be constructive. For the foreseeable future though, I guess it satisfies the accountant: catering for a clientele with more appetite then taste.
Top Floor, Smiths of Smithfield - 67-77 Charterhouse St., London. EC1M 6HJ
Nearest Station - Barbican
Nearest Station - Barbican
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I tallied up a total of seventeen hours at ‘Rock The Polo’, a social extravaganza hosted by Chinawhite/Cartier, Sunday. The focus appeared to be thirst-quenching Laurent-Perrier, Cristal and Pimms rather than goals on horseback. Presumably the streakers on the course were protesting against the vicious heatwave? Tickets came in at a whopping £475. Fellow sommeliers got to the uniforms first: armless linen smocks with Dynarod orange sashes, long shorts and flip-flops. There being none left, I was allowed to stay all in black. Conventional, but not laughable. Thank goodness.


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