Bored Cruise Pensioners

HAVING EXPERIENCED a soaking staff party where I was awarded 'Best Conversationalist'(!), my body yearned to have its drained nutrients replenished on returning home. Somehow I mustered enough coordination to open a coveted tin of skippers (small soft white fish that avoid identification by Google), salted anchovies and another helping of Foie Gras. Much to my admonishment, this actually worked.

My colleague, Colin, tells me about a fairer version of accolade-acheiving Foie Gras, produced in Spain. Apparently the method involves encouraging birds to freely roam amongst all manner of posh grains, the theory being that the nutritious bounty will be hoovered up by the happier birds, similar to a hulk of bored cruise ship pensioners, both of which will willingly get enormously fat.